My Own
I was just
drifting into consciousness. Brightly coloured shapes
flowed across the darkness that was the inside of my eyes. I was completely
comfortable, snuggled in…Wait. What was I cocooned in exactly? Sitting bolt up right
I examined the chaos of debris around me. Dizzily looking around the clearing,
which was in fact more like a ragged scar, I surveyed what I had been out cold
in: broken bits of twigs; dead leaves; mashed, almost rotting fruit and salty,
sticky, sand. Standing up, I tried to remember why I was here. Shattered
fragments flashed through my mind. Then it hit me. It hit me hard. I was stuck, on an island, in the middle of
nowhere. I was back in the plane. Smoke curling around my throat. Flames creeping silently through the mass of seats. And
then…me, in inky black water, thrashing to get that
last breath of life giving air. Thrusting those thoughts to
the deepest regions of my mind.
I squinted
around. The jungle was densely packed with objects beyond my realm of
imagination. A cluster of flowers caught my attention. Blooming
brightly in the small streaks of sunlight coming down through the small gaps in
the canopy. Small breezes lifted the petals, sending delicate fragrances
in my direction. Brightly coloured butterflies
flitted past. Brushing my face and hair gently with their
wings of every hue. Reds, blues, oranges and greens.
Birds were singing tropical melodies: they made me want to dance. The songs
called to something deep inside, it blossomed out tinkling in the air. It was,
Laughter. Tears of mirth ran down my face my tracks in the grime that I am sure
was every where.
Then I saw
the ocean. Onto the white-sanded beach I ran, watching it in awe. The sea, it
glittered and shimmered in the sun’s rays, dancing up onto the shore and
pulling me in. Enticing me deeper and deeper into its azure
depths. Leaning on one of the many palm trees that lined the
diamond-studded sand, I lay drinking in the sunlight. I could feel my skin
taking it in, gulping it down like some life giving elixir. I breathed deep,
like I would the smell of a chocolate cake baking. The smell was nothing I had
ever smelt before, it was even better than the buttery sunlight. The very air
made me feel alive, it was so free of the smog and smoke
that I was used to.
Leaping up,
I swung myself up onto an old, carved tree. Leaves and fruit rained down as
pushing them aside I emerged at the top. My eyes wandered as far as they could
see, taking in the sheer cliff face and the icing-pink rocks the burst out of
the water. In front of me the horizon was completely flat apart from the
breakers on the coral reef. Behind me the jungle cool, inviting and full of
wonders hidden in its shadows. Above me all I could see was the clear deep blue
sky. There was no sign of the destructive storm that had wrecked havoc last
night. Closing my eyes I watched the shapes and shadows change, just like I had
when I was waking up. Reds and pinks roamed across my eyes. The fire was all
around me, closing in, hungrily devouring all else in its path. I quickly
snapped my eyes open. Looking toward the other side of the lagoon I saw the
pitted rocks and the raised platform that lined it.
Two.
Short. Sharp. Blasts echoed around the bay, disturbing the peace. The silence
suffocated ears, but then the noise sounded again and again and again. Jumping
down from my perch, I made my way steadily up the beach towards the platform,
while hundreds of tropical birds made a rainbow across the perfect sky.
Throughout
the whole piece I wanted to create a dreamy, contented atmosphere to convey a
feeling of just awakening. I did this through the use of long sentences and
words with dreamy connotations such as “drifting”. This implies a slow and
soothing way to wake up.
However,
several points during the task I tried to make the atmosphere tenser, for
example when Kara, the character, remembers how she got onto the island. I did
this through use of repetition and short sentences to emphasize my point, “then
it hit me. It hit me hard”.
By using synaethesia, ‘drinking in the sunlight’, I wanted the
reader to see and feel the ‘buttery’ sunlight on their skin. I tried to do the
same thing with the sand, sea and sky. By using the word ‘diamond-studded’ to
describe the sand I wanted to imply just how white and crystalline the beach
was. In the same way, using the words ‘perfect’, ‘azure’ and ‘heaven’ to
describe the sea and sky, I wanted to convey a picture of a stereotypical
tropical island. Additionally, by describing the setting in all directions
around the character, I tried to give the impression that she was completely
surrounded by this wonderful, place, ‘which was densely packed with things just
waiting for (her) to find’.
Furthermore,
I wanted to show how the character was so much more comfortable, I did this by
using words like ’cocooned’ and nest’. I also did this by comparing the air on
the island and in
As well as
references to the paradise around the character, I also made repeated
references to birds, tropical ones in particular. This was partly again to
emphasize the paradise especially in the last sentence ‘hundreds of tropical
birds made a rainbow’. I also used birds because I wanted to create a carefree
and joyous mood. I did this through using the idea of birds flying free ‘across
a perfect sky’. I also used words like ‘leaping’, ‘laughter’ and ‘mirth’ to
contribute to the mood as well.