Cinderella: The Diary of the Stepsisters

Once upon a time

Friday 2nd February


My dear diary,

I am the happiest creature in the World, for I have received an invitation from the Palace to attend the Ball. It is the first I have ever received and I know how much value it is to me. How I will triumph over Adriana! However, I do not intend to show my exuberance on this special occasion, at least I believe not, for I shall remain serene in my status. And now my dear diary, I ask for your advice on what I shall wear to the Ball- I have selected two of my finest outfits but am facing difficulty on which one shall please the King and Queen more. I will give you an account of them. One is fabricated from the finest satin silk available in the kingdom but very plain, so plain that I refuse to wear it! The other not so plain but so bare, so bare that I refuse to go to the Ball looking like a tart trying to mesmerise the Prince with my soft and supple skin; although discarding the fact that that is what I am determined to do. But mother says we shall not self-reveal. In short I do not know what to do; if I wear the satin gown I will look austere but if I wear the other I will look a vixen therefore exposing my true intentions which mother insists that we shall not do.


I have come up with the most desirable solution to my troubles; I shall mention this affair to mother. Being the woman that she is, I believe I will be able to attain a satisfactory resolution from her. It will be such a triumph to be married before Adriana, as she will be at the uttermost shame for allowing herself to be ‘dethroned’ by her younger sister. I can just about picture her crushed countenance. I know she will envy me for I will be superior; what more could a woman desire than to have everything she requests at hand.

I cannot run such a risk of not marrying the Prince; I will make certain that no one shall exhibit at the Ball more radiantly than I shall. I hope you like my determination for I can think of nothing better.

And am your ever affectionate



Friday 2nd February

Outfits 10          Shoes 20          Bags 15            Prince certainly on his way!


8:00 Hurrah! The hopeless years are over. For 10 minutes my life has been functional with one profitable purpose- to win over the Prince and be married before Georgiana. Feel boisterous, rather like having already triumphed over Georgiana. Ooh! Better try on all the outfits before she comes over to spy on my professional collection of ‘uniforms’ made especially for ‘Prince hunting’. Hurrying to large pile of outfits dumped on the bed.

8:45 Not as entertaining as desired it to be; couldn’t fit into half of them anyway. All Cinderella’s fault for spending too much time stirring up ill-purposed foods intended to elephantine her lovely stepsister. Must tell mother to send her to some other place rather than the kitchen; the garden seems to need an immense amount of patching up.

Best to go on diet, chances of marrying the Prince will be demolished if arrive at the Ball looking too prosperous.

Must leave room; atmosphere is becoming too depressing.


10:00 Just back from walk in the ‘garden’. Will definitely follow through with diet but Ball is only four days away. Will also need to consult tailor about dress, maybe should go into town later today.

17:25 Outfit expedition proved total failure. Was initially enjoying cruise through selection of fabrics for outfit when caught sight of Cinderella buying cheese and milk for tomorrow’s breakfast. It is truly her fault for my un-aesthetic shape. Anyway, got so ‘angry’ therefore had to quickly return home to enjoy distance from Cinderella. Just remembered, mother said that one must not harbour anger for it shall create unpleasing marks on one’s beautiful face therefore will try to stop being angry now. Will return back to affairs tomorrow but now must try to get to sleep before failing to resist hunger. Georgiana can eat for me; that will do her some good.



Sunday 4th February

My dear diary,

I am now truly the happiest creature in the World for I have received the most satisfying outfit considering the circumstances that it was only completed in two days; the Ball will be held this coming Tuesday.


For the last hour or two I have been staring interminably at my reflection trying to capture the beauty but also any misfortunes the outfit will bring. I was delighted not to find any; beauty was what I saw. But now I shall inform you on the incident, most shocking I shall say, that took place this morning.


Apart from the fact that mother and I suspect that Adriana is deliberately carrying out the process of starvation, you shall not believe who appeared to disrupt our ‘morningly’ conversation; Cinderella. Respecting the fact that she is our dead stepfather’s daughter I insist that she still had no right to propose such a preposterous proposition- she proposed to be chaperoned to the Ball. Being ‘my mother’, mother instead proposed that she could be locked up in the basement while we were attending the Ball just incase she would manage to come up with another misdemeanour. Watching mother ‘tear her face into pieces’ was indeed an entertaining sector of my morning. I insist that nothing could have been better!

Before I return to my ‘business’ I shall inform you (although sadly) of my absence until after the Ball. For the remaining time I have left until the Ball and my marriage to the Prince that will be shortly following, mother insists that I be engrossed in preparing myself for our major ‘business encounter’, the biggest we have ever had. As for Angelica, I still remain true that I shall not waste any of my valuable time attempting to understand that little mind of hers. I still cannot understand how she got to be so different, so guileless, for she is still of the same blood as her two elder sisters which are of some achievement, mother says. However, she will also be attending the Ball but mother has long before given up on any expectations of her attracting the Prince, even if she went bare naked! But I think mother wouldn’t mind marrying her off to some old man as long as his pockets are relatively full. In fact, Angelica is rather similar to Cinderella; then it is no fascination in how she is the only one of my blood that can communicate peacefully with her. Other than Angelica, Cinderella can only exchange her ‘language’ with the filthy pigs and cows in the backyard. But now I shall return back to business.

And am your ever affectionate



Monday 5th February

Outfit 1 Shoes 1 Bag 1 Prince to be 1 by tomorrow


10:00 Hurrah! Dressless and elephantine days are finally over. Dress arrived this morning; was surprised but happy that one could actually fit into it therefore strongly suggests that diet did do some good since having painfully sacrificed all decent food and choosing to live on apples instead. Will be extremely infuriated if do not get to marry Prince after having to live through three terrifying days of extreme abstinence; but compulsory for crucial financial success.

Ball is tomorrow but cannot wait any longer. Will be such a joy to be envied by all women in the kingdom especially Georgiana. Mother will be delirious of my success and finally stop being so confident that Georgiana will be the only one who can triumph. Anyway, should stop operating pejoratively as all will be proved tomorrow as to whom will triumph over whom. Instead, one should be grateful because today will be last day of dining on apples. Freedom of Cuisine will definitely be enforced after marriage to Prince.

Must leave now, mother is calling again; probably ‘social graces schooling’ for the one- hundredth time. Mother is making it very clear that she will not accept any man other than the Prince to be her first son in law. But her eyes are actually set on her son in law’s assets rather than the son in law himself. On this occasion she quite obviously reveals her true intentions as it is always concealed behind her ‘false face.’ Will make sure to write after the Ball when ‘victory’ will already be in possession.



Tuesday 6th February - the Ball


Wednesday 7th February

My dear diary,

 I cannot be certain if my expectations were too high or if the reality was too low. The Prince; I could not bear to look at him He certainly has a large fortune and will make great settlements on me, but his appearance is revolting. I insist that I never see that face again. Overall, he is not good enough for me, and whatever mother says, I will still refuse to marry him. I feel foolish for having been so concerned about my appearance since it quite certainly looked like ‘my audience’ had not been, at the least, concerned about his!


I shall not leave my room for a few days for my neighbours will probably make the situation worse. I cannot believe how highly I spoke of him but I believe that there is no one to blame; at the time my mind was bombarded by images of ’perfection’.


And am your ever affectionate



Wednesday 7th February

Prince 0

9:30 Prince wasn’t worth the diet. Cannot think of anything pleasant to say about him. Conversely, can think of everything foul which is associated to him. One would prefer a handsome husband with ‘ugly’ assets rather than an ugly husband with ‘handsome’ assets. Mother would disagree but this is my life so, tough! Will not leave room; too ashamed of previous confidence.



Wednesday 7th February

My dearest diary,

Georgiana and Adriana, both eager to have everyone know that they were not to be mistaken for dumb blondes, and particularly desirous of triumphing over each other, insisted on competing for who could make the loudest possible entrance to the Ball a ‘lady’ could possibly make. It also occurred to them that they would fail to capture everyone’s absolute attention if they didn’t continue to make ‘noise’ as they paraded themselves through the Ballroom. As for I, having found nothing more ‘entertaining’ to do, agreed to follow my sisters. The whole parade entirely consisted of two lumps of ‘pretty meat’ throwing themselves at the tigers before rapidly pulling away; all had to be saved for the more profitable tiger.

After Georgiana had made certain that everyone had seen her newest outfit and Adriana with her freshly acquired shape, I quickly received the job of finding mother. Having been ‘educated’ by mother since I could understand ‘her English’, I knew at once where she was; mother had headed straight for business since our arrival making sure that not a second was wasted. It didn’t take me long to recognise her concealment out of the swarming collection of expensive ones that had gathered on this most important social event- or shall I say business event.

When we reached mother, she hurriedly introduced Georgiana and Adriana to the Prince- I was left as the scenery but I cannot resist telling you that the Prince is the handsomest man I have ever seen in my life! Indeed, my sisters were very pleased with him; they didn’t wait for any chances to slip through their heavily furnished fingers.

Georgiana, who from the moment we had reached the Palace, had been swelling with the knowledge of her own beauty and with the desire to make it seen by the Prince, could not remain patient at tugging her dress downwards making sure that more and more of her flesh was revealed by each tug although trying to conduct an intelligent conversation about the rights of women in society at the same time. I’m sure the Prince was more than amused by the level of her knowledge about the ‘rights’ of women in society. Meanwhile, all of the faces in the Ball (apart from hers) had turned to the same direction- the Entrance.


Standing at the mercy of my eyes was Cinderella, but at the severity of all the others, Georgiana and Adriana in particular, was the enemy.

You may not imagine the crushed countenance of mother and ‘her’ daughters as the Prince requested the pleasure of Cinderella’s company in his first dance. It was clear to me the impossibility of my sisters triumphing over Cinderella; her sincerity had truly conquered the heart of the Prince as it had done to mine (if she were like my sisters, she would still be locked in the basement).


Up until midnight the atmosphere was dominated by the waves of jealousy but all disappeared when the clock struck twelve! All that was left was one glass slipper which lay by the maroon-coloured velvet steps.

The guests left the Ball in confusion but the Ball left mother in indignation- she had spent a fortune on the outfits made especially for ‘Prince Hunting’. It didn’t occur to her who the lady was, so Cinderella ironically returned ‘home’ to prepare herself for her day of Vengeance- today!

This morning, again unexpectedly, I, unaccompanied, hosted the Prince while the rest of my family was busy dealing with their ‘issues’, not knowing that their last chance was within the household. The Prince was accompanied by an army of men and a single glass slipper; I did not hesitate to call for Cinderella.

So, I would like to inform you that there will be a marriage after all

Yours always


And everyone lived happily ever after …



Examiner’s Comments:

Wonderful parody of Jane Austen and Bridget Jones’ Diary. A delight to read.


Final Grade: 40/40